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| An emu hatches |
Reading 1:
Written by Ruth Mackenszie, a UU minister.
For a baby chick, hatching is not graceful. In the moments before birth, the small
hatchling has eaten all its food, and its growing body presses against every contour
and curve of the shell. There is no more
room. There is no more food. The chick hatches because its body is
painfully cramped inside the world of the egg, and it is starving.
I think most of us can name a time when where we were, what
we were doing, how we were being, was so uncomfortable, so constraining, that
there was nothing to be done but peck a way into whatever was on the other side
of the egg we had relied on, whatever was on the other side of safety. Whether we like it or not, discomfort
–feeling cramped, feeling soul-hungry – is the seed of transformation.
It is discomfort that drives the chick to risk everything,
to go beyond its worldview. This is
transformation.
Reading 2:
The Emu
by Dr. Bill Gnagey
by Dr. Bill Gnagey
About a
mile outside Rockport, Texas where we went birding every day last winter, a
strange sight appeared. There, in a
field with a few cows stood an emu, a middle-sized member of the ostrich
family. Like the ostrich, emus are
flightless.
As we
passed him day after day we noticed that he was never in the middle of the
field grazing like the cattle, but always right along the fence. He would travel back and forth, back and
forth near that same fence. It appeared
that he was constantly looking for a way to get on the other side.
One day,
he was gone. We looked for him for
several days as we passed by but he never reappeared. The house where his owners lived was
empty. We wondered if they had finally
taken him to a greener field.
Sermon: The Other Side of the Fence--Is the Grass Greener?
by Rev. Dr. Ruth Gnagey
by Rev. Dr. Ruth Gnagey
I feel that there should be a law against death by
platitudes. These are the times when a
discussion is actually fruitful and headed in a problem solving direction and
someone tosses a platitude into the mix like a tear gas bomb to squelch any
protest. If someone doesn’t rise up and
take the platituder on, it could be the end to what might have been an
interesting exchange. One of the
platitudes that really raises my hackles is, “Well, the grass is always greener
on the other side of the fence.” In
other words, quit complaining, coveting or showing your dissatisfaction with
your life, your job, your husband, etc.
Suck it up. Good people persevere,
or to layer platitude on platitude, “you made your bed, now lie in it.”
Bill and I were talking
about the concept of grass being greener after our daily experience with the
emu. Not surprisingly, our thoughts
turned to this concept as it is expressed in theological terms. Hoping to have an opportunity to preach here,
I began working on the sermon. When I
googled the idea, I found it was an actual syndrome in therapy. Three thousand eighty two hits just on the
GIGS – so popular as a counseling tool that I could spend days reading
relationship advice before I found some spiritual nuggets. Isn’t it interesting that often when you think
you have a unique idea, you find the field flooded with the blogs of others who
got there before you?
Most of the blogs were single nuggets or personal
experiences, but there was also a moralistic tone, a thread of judgment that
ran through those I reviewed. This
thread reminded me of voices from my childhood when my parents wanted me to be
content with what I had, appreciative of the meals set in front of me and
obedient to the 10th commandment not to covet.
Like the emu in Bill’s story, I was warned that wishing for
what I couldn’t have would poison my appreciation for my own circumstance. I was reminded of the dog in the manger and
the fox and the grapes and again, more platitudes than I can count. Shame
and guilt were rather effective tools to quiet my yearning for greener
pastures. I remember that my mother was
quite sure that the grass wasn’t really greener, it only seemed so
because it was unobtainable. I believe
she was protecting herself from wishing beyond her hopes and wanting to save me
the same sorrow.
Imagine if there were such a voice to keep the chick inside
the safe shell – to die! Extreme
example, perhaps, but easy to imagine.
Beyond being used as a tool to keep children in their place
in the past century, this particular platitude suggests that one’s decisions
should be like steel traps, securing one to a chosen pasture. As a veteran of a failed marriage, I am
grateful beyond measure that I did not have to forever live with my mistake like
the warning over the entrance to hell in Dante’s Inferno: “All hope abandon ye who enter here.” That message is surely a big stop sign!!
The greener grass is just that: Hope. Without wishing for a different job, house,
career, hair color, or automobile, how can we brighten our lives, stay alive
emotionally and progress? Without
entertaining novel notions, our spiritual lives cannot grow and change and we
find ourselves living a repetition reminding us of the Ground Hog’s Day movie
where each day repeated the last. As we
garner new experiences, insights and, yes, wisdom, our spiritual lives should
reflect that new color and interest.
Greener pastures? I should hope
so! The opportunity to find out if that
is so or not? Definitely!
Marriage being forever is not necessarily the best pasture
to stay in, either. Abuse and cruelty
are real, and the dictum to stay with such a relationship is a logical outcome
of this restrictive philosophy. The
grass is sometimes greener.
So I believe the grass is greener platitude is an echo from
the past, trying to encourage gratitude and stability and contentment….however
fine these traits may be, in place of growth and curiosity and hope.
In spiritual terms, the GIG syndrome might suggest that we
were led to the truth when we walked into whatever church we found
comfortable. I’m here to tell you that
comfort is highly over rated as a spiritual goal. That kind of stagnation is too much like a
stop sign. Stop thinking. Stop questioning. Stop trying out a new philosophy.
Over sixty years ago, I heard a sermon that I shall never
forget. It was at a summer church camp
where our church leaders hoped we teenagers would commit our lives and careers
to our evangelical doctrine. A quadruple
amputee was the speaker, and he forcefully built a challenge into a sermon he
called No Stop Signs. He envisioned himself on life’s journey and realized the
temptation to stop and rest, or to stop and let someone else travel his
journey. No stop signs for him, he
said. While he could not avoid the fact
of his disability, he claimed that his attitude of service would keep him alive
and active. He energetically shared a philosophy of life
that encouraged us believe in ourselves.
For me, the effect was the opposite of the goal of our pastors. In that theology, we were supposed to hold
fast to the notion that without God we were useless, cut adrift from the
strength and direction we needed to lead a good Christian life. This fellow was encouraging personal courage
and determination. I can’t speak for
other young people at this youth conference, but I found a kernel of energy to branch
out and not accept a dependent religion for myself. It took many years, but by the time I was
thirty, I found out that the grass really was greener on the other side of the
fence. The fence was a dogmatic and
unchanging belief in the literal promises in the New Testament of a heaven for
those who put their complete and total trust in Jesus as Son of God.
Let’s take a careful look at the fence. I believe that the fence in my parents’
warning was the limits of their own abilities to provide for us, not a guide
for our life’s journey. The implication
that the fence was permanent, too high to climb and probably for my own good is
from another age. In today’s world, in
our healthy land, it is only sensible to analyze the fence that separates us
from a greener pasture. In spiritual
terms, the threat of hell and damnation has kept a fence sturdy and higher than
we could surmount. What a blessing to be
free of that! Living in such a free
thinking society, it is hard for me to remember that there are folks whose
spiritual lives are so circumscribed as to be cast in stone. In fact, many folks feel that to question, to
be skeptical about religious notions is sinful.
Without a skeptical attitude, where would we find ourselves? Alone in this church, I think!
We as Unitarian Universalists might not recognize the
constraints that dogmatic fences put on people’s souls, but if you are willing
to listen to evangelical rants on the radio for just a short time, you might
become enlightened. Fear of eternal
damnation still does restrain many people from even considering the greener
pastures. Is this the green pasture from
the 23rd Psalm?
I understand that a life of envy and dissatisfaction with
one’s own lot does not generally lead to a productive life. How foolish one is to not appreciate the
fruits of their labor or their parents’ efforts to give them a start in a
positive direction. But in your heart
of hearts, in that private and oh, so personal life of the spirit, satisfaction
and comfort are lethal. Our spirits
only live when they are restless. Show
me a spirit that does not question and seek and discard and continue seeking
and I will show you a stagnant spirit.
Perhaps you know someone who is not satisfied with their
situation, but – for whatever reason – decides to do nothing about it except
pine for the greener grass across the fence.
I can remember having to bide my time and stay in the safety zone, while
wishing for the freedom of jumping the fence.
In one instance, I had used my mother’s disappointment as the reason not
to make a change in my spiritual direction.
Looking back, I realize that I really was using her supposed disappointment,
as an excuse to put off taking the risk myself.
It was a risk. I had grown up
with the assurance of eternal life and being with my loved ones in heaven, and
that was a big deal to give up by declaring the reality of my own doubts. Once accomplished, I found a freedom and joy
in adventure that had never been a part of my spiritual life. The grass really was greener, and it
sustained me as I followed my skeptical self to the UU church in Toledo, Ohio
in 1967.
So, how is it with your spirit? Comfortable?
Someone’s exhortation to take your mind out and dance on it comes to my mind. Try it.
It’s risky, but a responsible skepticism is often the gateway to a very
rewarding journey of the spirit. Only
you know if your spirit is stagnant and in need of a good dance, and only you
know if you are up to the challenge.
But do not dance alone. Here is your living, breathing church
community, ready to dance and travel with you.
In fact, if I were writing the description of this spiritual dance, I
would demand a dancing partner or a beloved community to dance with. So, let’s mix some metaphors. Is it a dance we do? May I have this dance with you?
May it ever be so!
